To Teach or Not to Teach, that is the Question!!

Ever since having my baby, people left and right have been asking me if I will continue to teach Seminary. Answer: I don't know!!!

Honestly I have really not felt up to it and I talked to the Bishop today. He explained to me that he has been thinking about it a lot and that he is quite torn. I guess he spent an evening up at Girls' Camp and my student Janine bore a powerful testimony...he said he was really blown away by how much she had grown...Not that I had something to do with that, but that the Seminary program had influenced her.

Five years ago, while still in North Plainfield, Ladd and I began looking for a bigger house. Everywhere we looked it was soooo expensive with not much more space. We kind of gave up looking for awhile. All of the sudden in March of 2004, I felt this incredible need to move...quickly!...and to move west....well further west that is!!! That's when we looked out this way, but still it was so expensive!! We ended up coming west and north to find cheaper property. I really didn't want to be that far from the church/highway, but this location just seemed like our home. So, we moved.

The first few years here I was rather miserable....I didn't like the ward and felt very lonely. It was difficult to talk to the members, no on seemed to invite us over or call or want to be with us. I kept thinking: "Why did we move out here? why did I feel such a need to move out here? what was the point...the purpose?" I really couldn't figure out what had pulled me out this way other than the Spirit. When the Bishop called me and asked if I would be Seminary teacher I actually wasn't turned off at all by the idea....I instantly had this feeling..."this is why I am here!"

When I look back now, it seems like the Lord was preparing me to teach Seminary...my first calling in this ward was the Beehive advisor...there were 2 beehives in Young Women: a less active girl...don't even remember her name and Janine. When I was released from YW after having Alia, I was called as a teacher in the RS and to head up the Scripture Reading RS group that met at the church on a weekly basis. What does this have to do with anything? Well, I was able to get to know Janine and have her become comfortable with me and my family. I also spent a year in a teaching role, getting experience with that. And, I was also diving into the scriptures more deeply with my assignment in the Scripture group for Relief Society. All these callings lead up to where I have been for the last 2 years....teaching Seminary to Janine! Yes I have one other student, but he is from a large family and has grown up with the church in his life. Janine is an only child, joined when her mother joined and is very irregular in her church/mutual attendance....I honestly feel that I am here for her.

I know it sounds odd, but I feel it is true. I know that my family comes first, my kids should come before someone elses child. However, my children are included in most of the activities I have with my students.....they get the same rewards for reading and memorizing the scriptures, they get the object lessons I use, they share with their friends at school what I do, they share with their teachers at church the lessons they have seen me teach. They love that I teach Seminary....they want me to be their teacher when they are in Seminary (YIKES! I don't know if I could do it for that long!) Even when they filled out a questionaire about their moms for Mothers' Day, this was one of the questions: "My mother is most happy when she___________" Ethan filled in the blank "when she teaches Seminary". I was really surprised!!...that he would notice that yes, it does bring me great joy! I took down all the pictures the other day here in the study where I hold classes and all my kids were worried that that was the end! I said I was still unsure and they all said, "you have to keep doing it, we love Seminary, where will Janine go?"....etc. etc.

So, will I teach again? I don't know...I have pray about it more because my heart is telling me YES and everyone around me is telling me NO! So, we shall see...the first Seminary meeting for teachers is in a week or so....I better get crackin'!!! It is definitely one of those "forget yourself and go to work" callings!