Well, everyone has been so concerned about me!...I have really appreciated hearing from so many friends and family. Some of my friends...I don't even know how they found my blog!! Ha! The world is such a small place on the internet I guess. Thankyou thankyou thankyou sooooo much for commenting on the PPD post, it has been so helpful and has boosted my spirits. The following is from an email I wrote to my family that I figured I should post in case others wanted to see what has transpired since I last wrote.....
After writing the blog about PPD, I have felt a lot better. There must be some thereaputic quality to writing...to getting things off the brain so that you don't stew about them over and over, day in and day out. After writing things down I have felt much better.
Also, Tirsa has been sleeping better and getting into a better routine...thus I have been sleeping better, getting into a routine, and feeling like my brain is not totally mush! And, I have let go of the Nursing ritual....I have been pumping instead and giving formula. There's actually a huge release I have felt from switching to the bottle! Don't get me wrong, I love Nursing and all the benefits that go with it (cost being my number 1), and oddly I have felt an extreme amount of guilt in giving it up, but as I give the bottle more and more I feel quite liberated. It probably sounds strange to those of you who have not gone through the Nursing thing....it's like doing something you love so much that you get sick of it! Well, I'm done with it in one sense anyway.
Other things that have been helping me....de-junking! I'm having so much fun with www.freecylce.org and the Lupus Foundation pickup www.lfa.org service. It really is giving me a sense of accomplishment and order. I've also been doing a lot of housework in the process, not that my house is spotlessly clean because of it, but it's better.
I've told some of you about my $12 hair cut!!! :) I just up and went to the salon and said, "chop my hair!" I was so sick of it sticking to my neck, so it is cut in a "short back, long front" somewhat 1920s bob hairdo....kind of flapper style! It's refreshing, new, and easy! I've gotten lots of compliments on it and that has boosted my esteem. I also splurged on some Mineral Makeup (BareMinerals/BareEscentuals) that I have been eyeing for a few years now. It's a combination of mineral powders that you brush on your face very lightly....it's very natural and has a very youthful effect......also another thing that has boosted my esteem!!! :) I know these are just temporary "fixes" but I'll take that for now.
I'm trying to get back into the swing of the most important things....prayers and scripture reading. For some reason after I gave birth I had no feeling, no Spirit. It has been very odd....I feel like I've forgotten everything I knew, learned, and taught in seminary...everything was just gone. I'm slowly getting back to it.....that reminds me...you have all been asking me about Seminary!....... :)
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It was good to get your email and then see it on the blog. Good luck with whatever you decide on seminary. All of us "no" people could be wrong and so go with your heart.
The nursing thing is always funny to me, but I guess I don't yet understand. Of course, I'm also the only 37 year old woman in the world that really doesn't care if people think she's a bad cook. I think I'll put off that goal until ...hmmm. maybe 40 years old. Emergency brownies will have to do regardless of what anyone thinks.
Enjoy the week! I'll give you a call, but if you don't answer I'll understand. Ha. I have phone anxiety too. Maybe we should start a phone anxiety anonymous group. But, then none of us would ever talk because we wouldn't get on the phone for group. Fuh-ney.
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