Conference Chaos

There is something about General Conference that can either bring out the BEST or the WORST in all of us! This time around was rather in between as far as the kids' behavior, I thought, although Ladd and I were at complete odds. I know if our conduct were based solely on the standards I grew up with, we failed miserably!!!

For those of you not familiar with General Conference, twice a year several meetings are held in which the Prophet, Apostles and other major leaders in our church speak on various topics of concern/importance they feel the entire membership (or the whole world for that matter) need to know and practice in their daily lives. These meetings are split into 2 hour sessions, 3 sessions on Saturday (one of those only for men), and 2 sessions on Sunday. These sessions are broadcast by satellite to all LDS church buildings around the world, on local cable if you live in the West, on Dish networks all over and on the Internet. Growing up, I remember going to all the sessions at the church because we didn't have a TV and obviously NO internet at that time.

When I was little I know I didn't go to all sessions, but I really think that by the time I was 8, I was going to ALL of them. I remember enjoying the chance to watch a live broadcast of a far off place that I seemed to idolize....Utah!....Salt Lake City!.....Temple Square!....places I had visited a few times and places that seemed to hold a sense of AWE and Wonderment. Conference was a time for me to feel like I was watching TV or a movie on the big screen, both things we RARELY did as a family. I also remember looking to see if I could see anyone I knew in the crowd of people gathered there in SLC....they used to pan the audience with the cameras more than they do now. I used to watch the choir, intently looking for the prettiest lady singer and the most handsome male singer.

I used to draw a picture of each speaker the best I could with the best detail I could....and I rushed to write their name perfectly next to each picture before it disappeared off the screen!!! I also remember basically when each apostle was called and noted various physical characteristics about each one, the tone of their voice, nervous movements or gestures they made, etc. I had nicknames for some of them....Marvin J. Ashton was "Mashed Potatoe Hair", L. Tom Perry was "Crooked Mouth", Neil A. Maxwell, was "the Intellectual", Howard W. Hunter was "slooooowww Talker", Ezra Taft Benson was a "head shaker", Bruce R. McKonkie was "tall man", Joseph B. Wirthlin was the "I'm not a Public Speaker", Dallin H. Oaks was the "clean-cut, handsome" one etc. etc. As I got older too, I noticed trends in their topics. Boyd K. Packer always talked about children or education, Richard G. Scot always talked about repentence, foregiveness, "coming back", Ezra Taft Benson always talked about the Book of Mormon, Marvin J. Ashton always talked about being Happy and nice, Thomas S. Monson always gave great stories and talked about taking care of the widows/fatherless/less fortunate.

I delighted when there was a woman speaker which was A LOT more rare back then. I delighted when there was a special picture displayed on the screen or better yet a small video clip!! I also thought it was amazing to see the Prophet speak, which I remember was also a rarity because Spencer W. Kimball (Pres. at the time) was always so feeble that he was rarely at General Conference....same with the next Prophet, Ezra Taft Benson....you just rarely saw him speak!

In all, what was a long, boring activity became something I looked forward to.....and my picture drawing turned into note-taking and really paying attention to the latest revelation from the Lord! Then I got married.......

.....to a Utahn!!! I really had no idea how one could consider Conference as "everyday, ordinary, no-big-deal". Ladd's memories of Conference are that of sitting in the bathtub with the TV and radio tuned into it, everyone doing his own thing and in his own world....with the "noise" of Conference in the background. To me, that seems almost SACRELIGIOUS!!!! You mean your parents never made you sit down and listen to it?....NO....Watch it?....NO....Discuss it later?.....NO. I was shocked! How could you NOT want to listen to the Lord's annointed or at least not show that you wanted to? Now since being married, I have missed out on many a session, but always felt guilty about it......

....and then I had kids!!! Each year I try a different approach and each year I am disappointed!! Sometimes I think: "we are going to watch all sessions at home", or "we'll watch 1 session each day at the church" or "we'll watch both sessions on Sunday at church with a nice lunch in between", or....you get the idea. I even debate about bringing things for the kids to draw on or color, toys or not, snacks or not. And, each year it's disappointing. Perhaps I'm wrapped up in this ideal of my childhood, probably that wasn't even how I remember it!!! I don't know.....although I know my Dad would have had my head if we made a sound or gotten up to go to the bathroom....at least that's how I felt he would react.

So, the various antics of my children and husband, who don't seem to hold this whole Conference experience in high regard as I do, drive me INSANE!!!!!!! Shall I just list a few of the goings on??? Alia running up to the stand and running to and fro through the choir seats, also desperately attempting to get into and play the organ. Ethan picking, poking and prodding his siters, making them squeal and tattle.....also sitting on his glasses breaking them in two!! Karina being a goofball, standing and sitting, standing and sitting, playing with someone's hair, chasing Alia as if to stop her from running around which only makes Alia run more. Daria with ants in her pants....sitting on Ladd's lap, bending over backwards, hitting her head on the pew, then sitting up again, then flopped over his knees, then onto the floor, etc. Jenika used to do all of the above, but has calmed down quite a bit....although her thing now is to be the disciplinarian of them all with loud SHHHHHHs and BE QUIET!!!, bopping them on the head, jabbing them in the gut, etc. Then there's Ladd, giving out punches to Ethan in a teasing manner, sitting on Daria after standing for the congregational hymn, going out to the couches in the foyer for a softer seat, sleeping during talks, tickling kids, etc. And, there I sit being completely frustrated and embarrassed about the whole thing. The only saving grace is that there are only about 5 other people at the church with us....all others watch it from home!

This time around, I insisted on going to ALL sessions. Saturday we went to the church and said if the kids were good we could go out to eat for lunch in between sessions. I'm glad we did that because then we could participate in the Solemn Assembly! That was neat and the kids enjoyed it.....but they were in and out of the chapel sooooo much, each time the door making a louder than usual noise! However, we did go out to eat and had time to browse car lots for a new van. Then we went back to the church for the last session....Ladd and I not talking to each other and chaotic kids!!!

Sunday, I had agreed to feed the missionaries between sessions which would force us to stay and watch the 2nd session! I prepared all the food on Saturday night and thought it was going to encourage better behavior.....wrong! In and out of the chapel again, somehow stuffed animals ended up appearing out of no where and they were tossed back and forth. In between all this the kids worked on their Activity books that I had printed off for them, but it didn't totally keep their attention....obviously! During sessions, we did have a nice lunch with Ham and potatoes, peas and corn, jello salad (gee that sounds very Utahn!) and ice cream for dessert! I had a nice talk with the sister missionaries as the kids ran circles around us in the gymn....climbing, running, jumping, throwing stuffed animals into the basketball hoop, whooping a hollering.....all the while Ladd is sitting by himself watching the World Report!!!!

The last session on Sunday, I basically gave up. I allowed Karina, Daria, and Alia to play in the Nursery the entire time. They wandered in a few times, but for the most part it was a calm and peaceful session for me. The last talk (by M. Russell Ballard) was the best....Men be good to your wives, children be good to your moms!!!...in my mind a silent THANKYOU & AMEN to THAT!!! During this talk, Karina came in a reported that Alia had not told her she needed to go to the bathroom and consequently pooped her panties!!! JOY! If Elder Ballard had not been speaking on the subject of Mothers, I don't think Ladd would have gotten up so promptly and taken care of it....he redeemed himself.....somewhat. Of course while he was gone was when Elder Ballard was giving all the advice to the husbands, but I took thorough notes for him....hehehehe!

So....what is to be done? Am I too strict? Do I expect to much? Am I over-doing it? I don't know because I do a lot of judging myself on how I was raised! My only thought after this weekend was that maybe I should meet half-way....Saturday sessions are optional......I will go to the church to watch General Conference and for all those who want to come, may come. The rest may stay home....because I know Ladd will be one of them staying home! Sunday sessions, however, will NOT be optional!...you will go to all sessions whether you like it or not and a nice Sunday meal will be brought to the church since we live a distance away. And no crayons next time....simply paper and pencil.

Sometimes I don't know if it is worth the fight....I just wish and hope that one day my kids will be able to gain the same appreciation for this important event as I have gained through my early childhood experiences.